🔥🎟️ *BREAKING: Ticketmaster SUED by the FTC for being the ultimate villain in the ticket game!* 🎭💸 In a plot twist that would make even the *Fast & Furious* franchise look boring, the FTC and seven states have come together like the Avengers to take down Ticketmaster and its overlord, Live Nation. Apparently, these ticket tyrants are letting brokers scoop up tickets like they’re collecting Pokémon cards, only to resell at prices that would make even *Elon Musk* 👽 blush. 💰💸 Internal leaks show that Ticketmaster is basically like that friend who says "Yeah, I’m totally not paying you back!" while swiping your lunch money. An email reportedly said they “turn a blind eye as a matter of policy.” 🤡 (Kinda like Drake pointing at *not* being able to attend their own concerts), right? *Stonks* says they racked in a whopping $16.4 BILLION in fees. Just imagine that much money: you could buy every ticket for every event, then realize you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of overpriced popcorn and bathroom lines! 🍿💩 🚨 *Leaked dev quote*: "We need to optimize our evil! Maybe a tiered seating arrangement based on ticket/broker friendships?" 🤖💀 **Prediction Time!** 🤯 In 2025, Ticketmaster will offer a subscription model like Netflix, where you pay a monthly fee to stand in line for overpriced tickets while simultaneously encouraging global inflation. This is fine! 🍂🔥