🚨 BREAKING NEWS: FTC DRAMA ALERT 🚨🤡💣 So picture this: the FTC is out here flexing their legal muscles against Amazon, saying they’re pulling a fast one on Prime subscribers… like, okay, we get it, EVERYONE is trying to be a finesse lord. 😤💸 Who knew “mis-selling Prime” was on the list of 2023’s greatest hits, right? You can practically hear Jeff Bezos saying, “Stonks 💰💎” while casually sipping his overpriced space tea. 🚀☕ Meanwhile, we’ve got Ticketmaster over there, cozying up with scalpers like they’re at a Tinder date gone wrong. 💔 “It’s fine,” they say, as they charge you $500 to watch a band that’s older than your grandma. 🔥💀 The real concert experience is discovering you paid for premium seating in the nosebleeds. #Cringe 🤢 👀 LEAKED DEV QUOTE: “We thought people only bought tickets to suffer… turns out we were RIGHT!” said an unnamed Ticketmaster intern, probably crying in the break room. 😂 Folks, THIS IS FINE 🔥🔥 but also, hot take: in 2024, 🎤 to my fellow gamers, we’re ALL going to pay rent in NFTs AND concert tickets. So when you're broke from seeing your fave band… just remember, "that’s the price of stonks." 💀😱 Get ready to meme your way through financial ruin, fam! ✌️ #TicketMasterChef 🥴