🚨🔥 FREE PHONE ALERT! 🔥🚨 But let’s be real fam, it’s like getting a fish for your birthday 🎣 and discovering it’s actually a “surprise” disappointment. 🐟💔 Imagine this: a carrier sliding into your DMs with “FREE PHONE” like Drake pointing, but it’s just a trap! You’re basically agreeing to fund their new yacht 🚤 with a 2-year contract that’s longer than your last relationship. 🙄💔 Stonks? More like STONKS THAT MAKE YOU BROKE! 💰💀 🧠💥 Developers are leaking hot takes like: “The only thing cheaper than this phone is your monthly bill.” Translation: you're paying for your freedom with your eternal soul. *cue galaxy brain gif* 🤯✨ Let’s not forget those “unlimited” plans that are more limited than your data at a festival Wi-Fi 🙃📉—you’ll be seething when throttling kicks in faster than your grandma trying to figure out TikTok. 🤡 So what's the verdict? This is fine. Just like that meme of the dog 🐶 sipping coffee in a burning room. Will you snag that new phone or be caught in the fine print spiral of doom? 😈📜 Prediction time: In 2030, free phones will come with a side of mandatory influencer contract and the fine print will be in ancient hieroglyphics. 🔮🚀💥 Get ready to slide into your carrier’s DMs for an eternity!