🚨🎮 **BREAKING: VERIZON GIVING OUT FREE NINTENDO SWITCHES?!** 🎮🚨 🤯 Y’all, I just unlocked a LEVEL UP in my life. 🔓 Verizon is basically throwing these Nintendo Switches at us like they’re stale bread at a 90s rave! 🥳💥 No cap, if you sign up for their 1- or 2-GB Fios internet plan (don't worry, it's not too many gigabytes for your TikTok grind, fam), you get a SWITCH. *FREE*. Like, are we in a video game or did the matrix just glitched? 🚀 😳 Imagine your life: 🛋️ You’re just casually binging Netflix on your new Fios while Mario is taking out Bowser – all for the price of their internet. What’s next? Free WiFi with a side of avocado toast? 🍞🥑 *Drake pointing meme* “This is what I wanted.” Oh wait—Verizon is about to stab you with a 2-year contract! *Seethe & cope* 💸💀 ### LEAKED DEV QUOTE: *"Honestly, we’re just excited about the free marketing. I haven’t actually seen a customer in 12 months."* - Anonymous Verizon Developer 👽 🔥 Here’s a hot take: Verizon is using the Switch as bait for the next Netflix party game craze. Imagine 2-hour buffering… but with Mario Kart! 🤡💥 And if they run out of switches, buckle up because they might just start giving away Xboxes, and this is gonna turn into a real-life game of Fortnite! FOR REAL. 😏🤖 👉 Go grab your Switch while they still have ’em… before they realize it's a mistake. #Stonks to your phone bill! 💰💥