🚨🦊 BREAKING NEWS: Fox News & Palantir: Unholy Tech Alliance of the Century! 💥🚀💰 So, Fox News just decided to team up with Palantir—a company that makes data so complex even your grandma wouldn't understand it—kind of like explaining TikTok to a boomer! 🤡💀 They’re building tools to help journalists churn out stories across their platforms, but don’t worry fam. They WON'T be using AI to write the news! 😱 LIKE, WHAT? Just let the cyborgs take over already! 🤖 “Honestly, we just want to keep the ‘human touch’ in our fake news,” said an *imaginary* Fox developer who probably just ate a whole pizza while coding. 🍕👾 You gotta hand it to them—sticking to people*! That's *based*... if you ignore the fact that the people do the same thing as AI – just slower and with more spell-check fails. Meanwhile, the only thing you're gonna see more than the Kardashians in your feed is Fox News' *newly improved* articles that have all the excitement of watching paint dry. Stonks going down, everyone! 📉 🔥 HOT TAKE: In 5 years, Fox will start AI-generated gossip columns, but they'll be like, "We totally don't use AI for news!" LMAO, cope and seethe, folks! 🤷‍♂️💀 #NoCap