🚨 BREAKING: Founders DITCHING VC Norms and Going Rogue at TechCrunch Disrupt 2025! 🚨 Y’all ever heard of “VCs are the old guard” 🧓📉? Well, throw that in the trash can 🗑️ because at TechCrunch Disrupt 2025, it’s going DOWN in Moscone West! Founders are out here like Drake pointing at the “no VC” route while flexing their DIY funding game 💪💰—no cap! 💀 Imagine this convo going down on the Builder Stage: “Yo, we’re getting our funds like we’re ordering pizza, and we’re not sharing the toppings with no *greedy* VCs!” 🍕💸 A developer might’ve even dropped this gem (totally fake, but vibes): “Why give away equity when I can find cash in my couch cushions? 🤣😂” Meanwhile, everyone’s sitting there like the "This is fine" dog as the old-school funding norms burn to a crisp 🔥🔥. The startups are building a whole new galaxy (brain emoji here) of financing where Crypto Bros and Bootstrap Legends unite ☄️🤖. Mark my words, in 2026, we’ll see the rise of the “Couch Fund” 🛋️💵 where every startup’s pitch deck includes a mortgage on grandma’s house. Get ready for the chaos, fam! 🤡🚀 Your paychecks are gonna look like stonks going to the moon 🌜📈.