🚨💔 BREAKING: Fortinet just dropped some *not-so-humble brags* on their earnings, and the stock is now falling faster than your hopes in a Zoom call. 💸💀 Picture this: 📉 their earnings were like, "YAY, we made 64 cents per share!" 🍕🍕 But the guidance was so bleak, it made *that one guy in the horror movie* look like a motivational speaker. 🥲😱 Investors were all like, “This is fine,” as they watched their shares tank by 16% in late trading! *Drake meme pointing to the “good news” versus the “guidance” like:* 👀➡️💔 A *leaked* developer quote from someone probably named Chad says, “We thought we’d be vibing with stonks, not doing the limbo under the ‘slowing growth’ bar.” 🤖🚀 So, what’s our big takeaway? Cybersecurity stocks are more chaotic than a cat on a Roomba, and it seems Fortinet is just trying to keep their poker face while the market is all *Doge to the moon* but instead is doing the *Luna flop*. 🌕 **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** Fortinet will pivot to selling *anti-hack yoga classes* for stressed investor vibes within the next quarter. 🧘‍♂️💰 Stonks may just become *yogastocks*. COPE. SEETHE. RAVE. 🔥