🚨🔥 BREAKING: Florida Man Goes Full Goldzilla! 🦸‍♂️💰💥 In a plot twist more predictable than your cousin’s wedding playlist, *President Donald Trump* just signed an executive order to upgrade the aesthetics of the U.S. Government 🚀—because nothing screams “government” like gold-plated everything! 🏛️✨ This is basically the “America by Design” initiative, where they aim to make your tax dollars look like a million bucks. "It's time to make government sleek and sexy,” Trump said, probably after binge-watching *Queer Eye* for the Political Guy. 💅 **Leaked Developer Quote:** “I can’t believe I have to make IRS forms CHIC! Let’s throw some sparkles on that 1040, fam!” 🪄 Pro tip: Try to navigate the **National Design Studio** with less lag than a dial-up connection while *Joe Gebbia*, Airbnb’s co-founder, takes the wheel—because *nothing* screams “trust us” like a tech bro revamping the federal retirement process. 🕵️‍♂️💻 **Drake Pointing:** 👉 “You’ve got a gold-plated White House, and all I got was this lousy UX.” 💀 So get ready, America! By 2050, our DMV will look like an Apple Store…and about as effective! 🍏💻💔 🔮 **Prediction:** Within 2 years, we’ll be voting on *TikTok* and filing taxes in a Fortnite skin. *Stonks* going up! 📈🤪