🚴‍♂️🔄🔥 BREAKING NEWS: Exercise bikes are the new crypto, and *CNET* just dropped the hottest take since someone thought the Eggplant emoji was a good idea for dinner! 💀💸 Fitness expert vibes? More like a 5-month drudgery session on wheels that scream "I wish I was laying on my couch." 🤡 So, what’s the tea ☕? *Peloton* is still flexing its muscles, but **NEW BIKES** are popping up like TikTok challenges, and lemme tell ya, they ain’t all about that spin life.😱💔 Some bikes are literally turning into smart home devices while you're just trying to **sweat off last night's pizza** 🍕… and yes, I'm looking at you, “Connected Dutch Bike 2000.” No cap! 🔥🥵 "Bruh, we invented a bike that also orders you food." - *Imaginary Developer #247* 🤖 This is the future folks, where your bike recognizes your pain and orders a pint of ice cream to the house while you pedal away your sorrows. In the end, remember: If your bike isn’t talking back to you, is it even worth it? 🤔💅 And my spiciest hot take? By 2026, all bikes will have AI that emotionally supports you during your fitness journey. “You got this, champ! Also, let’s skip leg day.” 🚀🦵💥 #BikeTok #FitnessFad #Stonks