🔥🚨 BREAKING NEWS FROM FITBIT LAND! 🚨🔥 Forget everything you thought you knew because Fitbit just leveled UP! 💪💥 "Material 3 Expressive" is here, and it sounds like a fancy way to say, "we added more colors!" 🌈🎨 Like, who asked for a fashion show in an app? The only red flags here are the ones from your heart rate monitor! 🤡💔 And oh boy, they’ve thrown in an AI-powered coach! Now your smartwatch can tell you how bad your life choices are while you undo a whole pizza in one sitting. 🍕🤖 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "We know people ignore their Fitbit, so we gave it sass. Now it can roast you while tracking your steps!" 🔥💀 Drake is pointing at the stonks that *should* be rising, but this redesign feels more like ‘this is fine’ as your tech heart crumbles into bits. 🤷‍♂️💩 (not that you'll care after the 5th color customization you won't use, no cap). But here’s the wildest hot take: Next, they’re gonna release a model that HUGS you when you hit your goals, so you’ll never feel alone while not working out again. 🤯💖 Who’s with me? Hit that like button and let your friends know: Fitbit is officially trying too hard! 🚀🌀 #FitbitFlop #ChillWithTheColors