🚨💔 GANG, HOLD MY ENERGY DRINK! 💔🚨 Fitbit just dropped a NEW app update that’s like if your mom learned how to moonwalk – I mean, it’s a total vibe shift! 💃✨ Say hello to the Gemini-powered health coach, aka “Coach”, which sounds less like a fitness tool and more like a sitcom character that shows up uninvited! 😂🤡 For all you Premium users out there (🎉💰 because who doesn’t want to pay for health advice?), it’s rolling out on Android tomorrow and is “totally coming to iOS” when the stars align. 🌌👀 Now, this ain’t just any ol’ health app! Gemini is here to be your personal cheerleader, sleep whisperer, and motivational speaker – but I swear if I hear it say "Hey, champ! Let's go for a run!" one more time, I might just yeet it into the sun! 🌞💀 A “leaked” convo between Fitbit devs went like this: Dev 1: "So should it suggest carrot juice or pizza?" Dev 2: "Hmm... both? It's all about balance, right?" 🤷‍♂️😂 Listen up, fam: if Coach starts suggesting pineapple on pizza, we might just have to stage a revolt. ✊🍍🔥 Prediction? In 6 months, *everybody* will be in therapy because their AI coach told them to "be more like a squirrel." Y’all heard it here first! 🐿️💅 #FitbitOrNah #Stonks