🚨💰 BREAKING NEWS: FirstClub is like that kid who trips while running but somehow ends up sprinting past everyone! 🏃‍♂️💨 This company just raised a whopping $23 million in a Series A round, and suddenly their valuation is flexing at a solid $120 million! 🚀💸 No cap, they’re out here making stonks like Elon at a SpaceX launch! 🌌📈 Here's the real tea ☕: while everyone else is out here RACING 🚀 to deliver your cold brew in 2.5 seconds (seriously, who asked? 🤨), FirstClub is like, “Nah fam, let’s slow it down and deliver premium vibes instead.” You know, like sipping a nice glass of Chardonnay instead of chugging a Red Bull. 🍷➡️🥤 #Based 💡 Leaked dev quote: “What if we made delivery like fine dining?” Yeah, Karen, great idea! Hope you’re ready to pay 50 bucks for that avocado toast to arrive with a side of artisanal guilt. 😂💔 🔥 Hot take alert: In 5 years, everyone will be so burnt out from fast delivery services that we'll be back to carrier pigeons. Welcome to the *slow commerce revolution*! 🕊️✨ So, who’s ready to ditch the speed and get fancy? This is fine. 🤡🔥 #FirstClubMemeGang