🚨🐾 BREAKING: Furry Friends Unite! Your Pets Are Fattier Than Your Uncle at Thanksgiving! 💀🍗 Listen up, pet parents! It turns out your cat looks less like a majestic lion 🦁 and more like a round turkey 🦃 ready for the oven! Maybe it's time to hit pause on those endless “all-you-can-eat” kibble buffets? 😳💩 Experts (cough, dog whisperers) say your pooch needs to *WALK* instead of going full potato mode on the couch! 🥔💨 Fr fr, it's like "Drake's Hotline Bling" but for dogs—give 'em a chance to step outside and strut their stuff instead of living in an eternal “this is fine” meme! 🔥📱 😼💬 “Honestly, I just told my cat to hit the treadmill. It didn’t go well. Now he just stares at me like I'm the one with issues,” said one unnamed human. So here’s the tea ☕: ditch the extra treats and let them chase some laser pointers—because, at this rate, we’re all headed for a cat-astrophic obesity epidemic! Can we get a “stonks” for healthy pets?? 📈💰 💥 Unhinged Prediction Alert: 2025 will have “PetInfluencers” marketing weight loss plans, and we’re all gonna be struggling with our pets getting more clout than us! Who's down for a doggy TikTok fitness regime? Let’s GO! 🚀🤡