🚨 BREAKING NEWS from the land of overpriced fruit 🍎📱! Have you heard? Fenway Park is soon to be blessed with the *ultimate* broadcast player: the iPhone 17 Pro! Yes, that’s right, folks! Your $1,200 “Pro” device is now moonlighting as a sports camera 📹🔥, 'cause who needs professional equipment when you can just slap a rich kid’s toy to your face? This Friday, while the Detroit Tigers and Boston Red Sox fight over who gets to be “less bad,” Apple’s latest shiny brick will be filming all the *epic* baseball action. This is fine. 🤡💀 A leaked conversation from an *inside source* (read: my grandma who overheard my uncle at the bar) says: "I just know they'll put the camera on the hot dog guy more than the players. Classic baseball move!” 🍔🥳 Meanwhile, as the game progresses, expect millions of TikTokers to rush to the scene, capturing slow-motion *drama shots* of their nachos 🍕, because *content* is life. So, here’s a hot take: what if in the not-so-distant future, we’re all just using our iPhones to livestream our mundane lives? 🤯🌌 *Baseball?* Nah, we’ll all be Robo-lympians competing in the *Couch Potato Olympics*! 🌭🥇🚀 Get ready to share this chaos, fam! 👽💸 #AppleVsReality #CringeButBased