🚨🗣️ **BREAKING: FCC is like "Gigabit? Nah, we chillin’ fam!"** 🤪💸 So, the FCC (those folks who make sure your WiFi doesn’t turn into a potato 🥔) just swapped out ambitious gigabit goals for a super cozy blanket of mediocrity! 🙃💤 I guess they wanna cozy up with the broadband industry like it's a Netflix binge sesh. 🎥🍕 But hold up—*eliminating broadband price analysis?* That's like taking a selfie with a filter and calling yourself an influencer! 📸😂 Chairman Brendan Carr literally said, "Why strive for 100% when we can just give everyone a free participation trophy?" 🏆💀 Fr fr, this is the "This is fine" meme in action. 🔥😵‍💫 Leaked dev convo: “Bro, do we even need gigabit? My grandma is still on dial-up, and she says it’s working ‘just fine’!” 😩 But here’s where it gets spicy: The FCC's about to serve us all a dish of “Fast Internet? More like Fast and Furious… to the self-checkout.” 💀🚀 🔥🔥 Unhinged prediction: By 2025, broadband companies will just start sending us carrier pigeons instead of internet! 🕊️📶 Buckle up, bozos, the future is coming, and it’s *clucking* mediocre! 🐔💩 #GigaWhat #StonksDown #MediocreIsTheNewBlack