🚨🎉 BREAKING NEWS: The FBI is on a wild goose chase for the owner of archive.today like it's the last slice of pizza at a tech conference! 🍕💀💼 Guess what? They’re throwing digital subpoenas around like confetti 🎊 because they think the mystery beholder of this archiving magic is hiding some deep, dark web secrets. 😱🌐 You know, total Alex Jones vibes—like “they’re stealing our memes, man!” 🤡🚀 But real talk: archiving sites are basically the paywall Hulk—smash that $$$ barrier and set your inner scholar free! 📚💸 Honestly, if they get a hold of this owner, it's gonna be like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. 😤💨 Developers are out here like, "Cope + seethe, FBI. You ain't getting my info. 👀🤖” *Leaked Developer quote* 💬: “If I wanted to be found, I’d have posted my browsing history on Facebook. No cap.” 😂🤘 🌌💥 So, buckle up. My hot take? The FBI is about to resurrect the ancient art of *Operation: Paywall Buster* and we’re all gonna end up in a meme war over it. Just wait until they start subpoenaing pizza delivery drivers for customer info! 🍕🔥 #Stonks!