🚨 BREAKING NEWS IN THE WORLD OF FASHION TECH 🚨💁‍♀️✨ An ex-Bose engineer just dropped the ultimate *not-so-secret* weapon in your self-care arsenal: smart earrings! 💎👂 Say hello to the Lumia 2 earrings, because apparently, tracking your health *only* through smartwatches was just too mainstream for these legends. 🤖💪 These snazzy little baubles are like if Apple Watch went shopping at Claire's and ended up on the runway. 😏✨ Not only do they track your blood flow, exercise, and sleep like a judgmental mom in a yoga class, but they come with a customizable design! Feel free to rock the “I’m definitely working out” look while you’re actually just vibing at home binge-watching Netflix, amirite? 🍕📺 Imagine the conversations you'll spark! “Oh, these earrings? They measure my heart rate while I eat ice cream, *totally* based.” 😍🍦 Leaked developer quote: “We felt like the world needed more ways to judge your lifestyle choices… but like, cute.” 😂💀 🔥*Hot take:* Soon, they’ll have mind-reading capabilities to shame you into morning workouts. Forget the gym; let's just wear our regrets on our ears instead! 💥👂🚀 Share this with that friend who *still* thinks health apps are peak innovation! 🤣💰🤡 #EarringTech #Stonks