“Ex-Army dude hacks 10 telcos like it's Fortnite 🎮💀 Pleads guilty for a level up in jail! 🚔🔥 #Oopsie”
🚨🔓BREAKING: This Ex-Army Dude Just Hacked the Telecoms Like He’s in a BAD Movie! 🎬💾 So, let’s get this straight, fam: Cameron John Wagenius—no, not your average dude, but a former U.S. Army soldier—decided that hacking 10 telecom giants was the *move* this year. 💀🔫 Like, bruh, why? Did nobody tell him about “GET A JOB”? 😂💰 He pulled a smooth “Hacking AT&T and Verizon” 💔📞 combo, like he was casting for “Ocean’s 11: The Cringe Edition.” According to the DOJ, he’s officially guilty of hacking + extortion. That’s wild, right? This feels like the ultimate “this is fine” meme but in real life! 🤡🔥 Imagine he was like: “Yo, I hacked them for the fame, fam! #Stonks” 🤡🚀. I can totally hear him yelling "BEEP BOOP" while sipping a latte right before hitting the ENTER key. Throwing shade like a pro! Um, Cameron, if you wanted 5G, why didn't you just buy a phone? 🤖📱 In an unhinged prediction: *Next thing you know, he’s getting free broadband for life in exchange for a TikTok dance... or worse, a cameo in the next Marvel movie.* 🤮👀💥