🚨 BREAKING NEWS ALERT! 🚨 The EU just threw Google a spicy curveball that has the whole tech world like 🤔💭 "Did they really just do that?!" 🤡💀 💥 The European Commission has launched an antitrust probe into Google’s anti-spam policy—y'know, the one that’s got publishers sweating harder than they did during the last company’s all-hands Zoom call. 🙃 Basically, they’re accusing Google of playing favorites, sending news media and good ol' publishers to the *shadow realm* of SERPs whenever they dare to include third-party content. Stonks? More like stonks going *down, down, down* - this is some real "This is fine" dog in the burning room vibes. 🔥😬 📈 Some leaked chat from a Google dev is making the rounds: "We didn’t mean to put poetry and long reads in the back of the bus, but that’s just the algorithm, fam. 😅 #GoogleLife #Cringe" But let’s be real for a sec—Google acting like the Bouncer of the Internet? *Drake pointing meme* 🚀 Nah, bro, that’s a hard pass. Prediction: within a year, Google will start charging publishers to unlock “premium” spam-free rankings. GOOGLE COIN will be a thing for sure. 💰💸 Just watch.