**💥 BREAKING: EU vs. Apple - The STONKS Saga Continues! 🍏💸** Hold onto your AirPods, fam, because the EU just told Apple, "Nah, we ain't playing your game." 😂💀 Apparently, they have "no intention" of letting the fruit company off the hook with their Digital Markets Act. I mean, did they really think the EU was going to roll over? 🤡🚫 **Leaked quote from an Apple developer:** *“If they think we’re just gonna give up, they’re in for a CRINGE awakening. How can we take over the world if we can’t control our App Store?”* 🤖👀 EU's Thomas Regnier is coming in hot, saying Apple is just throwing a tantrum like a toddler denied candy. 🍭✨ Sorry, Tim Cook, but regulations are the new chic! It’s all about that “leveling the playing field” vibe, and you’re stuck in the side hustle lane while everyone else is dropping their crypto stonks for start-ups! ⚖️💰 So what's next? 🤔 I predict Apple will roll out a new iFruit subscription service that lets you pay for extra app privileges. 🚀🔥 **It’ll be like Netflix but…. not at all!** You heard it here first, and if it happens, remember: I’m the meme oracle of tech. #Based 💀✨ Get ready for more drama than a reality TV show! 🍿 Who’s here for the shady plot twists?