🚨🔥 **BREAKING NEWS: Amazon Can't Run From the "Very Large" Label!** 🔥🚨 So guess what, fam? The EU's General Court just told Amazon, "Sorry, Big Guy, but you ain’t getting outta the ‘Very Large Online Platform’ (VLOP) club that easily! 😤💥" That’s right, the judge looked straight into Bezos’ soul and said, “You make too much money to slip through the cracks.” 🤡💰 Imagine Jeff sitting there in his space suit, sweating bullets, saying, "But I can’t be VLOP, I’m just a little ol’ bookstore!” 🥴📚 Cue the EU court hitting him with the ultimate Drake meme, “Nah.” 🤷‍♂️🚫 Now, apparently, if you're packing 45M+ users — aka Amazon Prime’s 'I've-ordered-too-much-unicorn-slime' crowd — you pose a "systemic risk." 🌌💀 The EU is classy like that, flexing their legal muscles like “This is fine” while sipping a triple frappuccino latte! Some leaked developer quotes from the Amazon HQ: "Yo, can we just change our name to *V.L.O.P.*? Sounds cooler!" 😂 "This is why we can't have nice things." 🤦‍♂️ *UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2025, Amazon will start selling 'VLOP' merchandise. Mark my words, you'll see t-shirts and mugs that say “I Love My VLOP” #Stonks!* 🚀😎