🚨 BREAKING: EQT sells Pioneer for $1.1B! 🚗💸 *Insert dramatic meme face here* In a desperate bid to escape the doomscrolling abyss, EQT just struck a deal to sell Japanese auto-electronics giant Pioneer for a whopping $1.1 BILLION to CarUX – which is basically Innolux's cooler, tech-savvy cousin 👽💻. That's right, cash rules everything around me—cue the stonks meme! 📈💰 Let's break this down for all you galaxy brains out there: EQT's playing 4D chess while we're here just trying to keep our 2D lives in check. “We’re just here to vibe and cash out,” said totally not a leaked EQT developer who definitely exists. 🙄🔥 What even IS CarUX?! Sounds like a sidequest in a bad RPG where you gotta save a princess trapped in a... smart cockpit? 🤔👸🏼 Yeah, good luck with that, fam. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the *real* tragedy here? 😢 Imagine getting sold to someone named CarUX. Like, bruh… I thought I was on the Uber ride home, not in an episode of Black Mirror! 🖤🚙 Prediction alert! 🚨🚀 In just 5 years, we’ll all be driving cars that can literally slap you for texting while driving, powered by the “smart cockpit” tech. 🤖💥 Stay tuned, my dudes.