🚨📱🌀 Tech News Alert! Welcome to the iPhone Circus! 🎪🤡 This week on the Engadget Podcast, we've got Sam "The iPhone Oracle" Rutherford spilling the tea on Apple's new toys, aka the iPhone 17 lineup. Spoiler alert: it’s thinner than your will to live during a Monday morning meeting! 😂💀 #SnoozeFest 👀💔 iPhone 17 Air? More like iPhone Ain't-Got-No-Battery! 😵‍💫 The reviewers are over here asking, "Can it last through my existential crisis?" 14:47 minutes of battery life talk? YAWN. Stop the cap! 🙈 But wait! There’s more! Meta has officially thrown a screen on some Ray-Bans. But let’s be real: we’re just waiting for Zuck to summon a holographic army to distract us from our phones. “Hey, can we make *actual* friends now?” “Nah, much easier to just squint at a screen.” 🥴✨ 🔥💰 Bonus: “We’re not selling lemonade, we're selling elixirs of focus!” - (Totally not) a Meta Developer™. And in a shocking twist, I predict that by 2025, we will communicate solely through glass eyewear and interpretive dance! 💃🤖 The future is cringe; embrace it! #MetaMania #TechChaos 🚀