💤💸 Wake up, tech fam! Eight Sleep just hit the *slumber jackpot* with a fat $100 million bag from HSG! 🤑💀 Sorry, where's my bag? Asking for a mattress that can analyze my sleep like I analyze my life choices—like, “why did I binge-watch that cringey show last night?” 🤔😵 Listen up, fam: these geniuses created an AI-based Pod smart mattress cover that tracks your REM sleep and probably judges you for that 3 AM snack run—talk about some cringe 🤨🍕. They raised $86M back in 2021 (cue the stonks meme), and now they’re back again, making bank while I’m still struggling to get out of bed 💀💤. “Bro, I just wanted to build something comfy to sleep on, not create the next Skynet for bedtime,” said a *so-called* anonymous developer. 🤖🔥 In other news, a whopping **one in three adults** can’t catch those Z’s, and honestly, is anyone surprised? 🙄💤 I mean, we’re all busy scrolling and seething over Elon’s latest tweet at 2 AM. 🔥🚀 Hot take: In 2025, instead of mattresses, we’ll have sleep pods that transport us to our dreams faster than a TikTok scroll. Wake up, we're entering the Matrix! 🥴💥