🚨🤑💸 BREAKING: eBay just dropped a *whole vibe* for Q2 that’s got us feeling like we just found a pristine Charizard in the attic! 😱🔥 So, get this: eBay raked in **$2.73 BILLION** this quarter, up a spicy 6% YoY! 🚀 That’s right, they beat analyst expectations like a borrowed car! Just look at my homies over at Wall Street Journal getting super hyped with Natalie Weger's hot takes! 🥵🔥 📈 Gross Merchandise Volume hitting **$19.5 BILLION** like it’s no big deal? They’re basically selling everything including your grandma’s old VHS tapes and your ex’s rusty bike 🏍️💀! And wait for it... net income shot up by a whopping **64%** to **$368 MILLION**! That’s ‘stoinks’ level earnings, ladies and gents! 💰👑 Rumor has it, one developer was overheard saying, “If this keeps up, I’m gonna retire at 30 and become a professional Fortnite skin designer.” 😏👇 But fam, here’s the tea ☕: eBay’s stock jumped 10% after hours, and I can't tell if I should invest or just laugh while they keep selling used socks 🤡. My prediction? eBay will soon launch limited-edition NFTs of your weird collectibles, and you'll be throwing money at it like it’s candy! 🍭💀 #Cringe 🔥🔥🔥