🚨🧛‍♂️ *BREAKING NEWS: DRACULA IS UNSTOPPABLE!* 🧛‍♂️🚨 Y’all ever notice how Dracula is like that one meme where the dude looks at the girl and his girlfriend is side-eyeing? 👀💀 Like, no matter how much we try to stake him, this bloodsucker just keeps vibin’ like it’s the Renaissance Festival every Friday night! 🍷🥳 **540 FILMS?!** Bruh, that’s more adaptations than I have questionable life choices! 😭💸 This dude's like “I’m NOT dead yet!” while cashing in more residuals than your dad’s '90s sitcom. 💰✨ *Leaked quote from a “unnamed” studio exec*: “At this point, we should just put Dracula in a rom-com with Frankenstein. The stonks will GO CRAZY!” 😂📈 This is fine. Honestly, Dracula’s secret? He’s rocking that #ForeverYoung filter while companies like Tesla tell us their cars might *actually* be possessed. 🚗👻 So who’s rooting for him next season on *Vampires in Space*? 🌌🔥 Let’s face it, at this rate, he’ll outlive the entire streaming wars. You heard it here first! **HOT TAKE:** In 2040, Dracula will be our AI overlord, and we’ll all be his minions serving him avocado toast. #Based 😱🧛‍♂️