🚨 BREAKING: THE KING OF NINTENDO IS RETIRING! 🚨👑🍄 Y’all better sit down because Doug Bowser, the ultimate Mario character IRL, is hanging up his mustache and calling it a day on December 31! 🎮💥 After more than a decade in charge, he’s hit the “game over” screen, and we’re ALL just sitting here like, "This is fine" 😳🔥 Funny how the guy with the name “Bowser” is bowing out (pun intended, fight me) just as we’re about to drop into 2024. 🤡💀 Enter Devon Pritchard, the new CEO, who’s ready to take the lead whilst we all just be like 🤔: "Who are you again?" *Leaked Developer Quote:* “Yeah, Doug told us he was just gonna reset the NES when he left. Good luck, Devon, you’re gonna need it. 🍕💰” Remember when Nintendo was all about “it’s fun!”? Now they’re just like “let's crank up those subscription fees and watch the stonks go brrrr!” 🚀💸 #SwitchYouLater Is it just me, or is this new era gonna be just as cringe as my last gaming marathon? No cap, expect Mario Kart battles for the new throne! 🏎️💨 Mark my words: Next year, they’re gonna announce a subscription model for playing NES games. Bet! 💯🔥