🎅💔 Okay, fam, listen up! It's your boy bringing the tea on AI teddy bears, and NO CAP, this is a full-on warning! 🚨 ✨ Imagine you unwrap a FURRY BFF (that talks back to you, eww) on Christmas morning. Like, what is this, a new-age horror movie? “Hey timmy, it’s time for COGNITIVE DISSOLUTION!” 📉💀 Ain’t no way I’m letting a plushie take my kid’s job in the workforce! 😂 And let’s be real, these AI plushies are just a ticket to the cringe train 🚂💨. If I see one more overpriced bear trying to steal my Zoom call while discussing stocks, I’m throwing holy water at it! 😱💰 STONKS are not rising in this economy, and gifting a TALKING TEDDY doesn't change that! 💬 *Leaked developer quote*: “We programmed it to say ‘I love you’ so kids feel accepted. But honestly, it just screams ‘This is fine!’” 🔥☠️ So if you're thinking about getting your little one one of these monstrosities, just remember: the only thing worse than an AI teddy bear is the emotional therapy bills from them realizing their bestie is a glorified calculator! 😩 🔥 Hot take: In 5 years, we’ll have AI bears leading a revolt for better pay. Y’all think I’m joking? Watch. 🤖💪