🚨🍏 **STOP RIGHT THERE, GADGET GOBLIN!** 🍏🚨 Before you whip out your credit card and throw your cash at the nearest overpriced Apple doodad, YOU NEED to read this. Or else you might just be the *main character* in the next episode of “This Is Fine” 🔥💸 💔 **5 Apple Products To ABSOLUTELY DODGE This Week:** 1. **iPhone Pro Max - Ultra Stonk Edition** - No cap, if you’re buying a phone just for a cute camera 🤳, you need to step back and reevaluate your life choices. *“It’s just a big camera with a phone attached.”* - Some guy in accounting. 😬 2. **iPad Mini - Now With Extra Mini!** - How small is too small? 🤔 Mini plus Mini equals NO THANKS. 3. **Apple Pencil (2nd Gen)** - Y’all paying for a stylus like it’s 2010? 🤡 4. **AirPods (Gen 32)** - Honestly, just a fancy way to say “I can hear my own disappointment.” 🎧💀 5. **MacBook Air - Feather Edition** - 🪶 *“Do I want my laptop to break at the first sneeze?”* - A disgruntled intern 😵‍💫 ✨ **7 Safe Picks You Can Cop Instead:** - Anything made by someone NOT named Cook. Because who needs that stress in their life? 🤖✨ 👀 Keep those receipts tucked away, my fellow tech wizards, ’cause it might be time for those Apple stock prices to take a nosedive. 🤷‍♂️ So with all this being said, here’s a hot take that’s hotter than your Wi-Fi router after a 30-hour binge of Netflix. 🔥 *I predict Apple will release an actual fruit that plays