🚨💥 BREAKING: Your regular day just got CRYPTO crazy! 💀💸 The DOJ has officially summoned the ghostbusters of crypto fraud, filing to snatch back a jaw-dropping $225.3 million from a pig butchering gang that thought they could just scam their way to the moon without any consequences! 🚀🍳 🧐 So basically, these wannabe crypto gangsters were serving up some premium steak (only to find out it was actually just a plate of cold spaghetti). 🍝💔 “Yo, honey, let me get you into this *amazing* Tether investment!” 🙄 Meanwhile, they’re just throwing you into a real-life episode of “This Is Fine” while your funds go poof! 🎩✨ *Leaked quote from a DOJ agent*: “Honestly, we’re just here to collect the stonks and watch the bubbles burst. No cap.” 🤖🔥 But you thought this was just a snooze, huh? Well, buckle up because this is the kinda drama that makes true crime podcasts look like bedtime stories! 📚💥 🔥💣 HOT TAKE: In 5-10 years, *every* tech company will be announcing a “scammer-tracking” crypto insurance policy, yet none of them will actually give a hoot until it’s time to monetize. Get ready, fam! You heard it here first! 🤯🔮 #PigButcheringNotOnMyWatch