🚨🐕💰BREAKING NEWS: DOGE just took a wild left turn into the dumpster 🗑️ of SOCIAL SECURITY DATA! Whistleblower spills the tea ☕️ faster than my ex sending me “Hey big head” DMs. 🥴 We’re living in a meme apocalypse folks! 💀 Imagine this: people were holding onto DOGE like it’s gonna buy them a mansion, but nah fam, now it’s about to expose your grandma’s life savings! “Wanna buy a house?” Nah fam, wanna buy a VPN? 🤖💻 Meanwhile, we got China’s Salt Typhoon hackers blitzing 600 companies like it's a freakin’ game of Among Us 💥. They’re swooping in with the finesse of a toddler in a candy store 🍬. No cap, if you’ve got a business, you better be fortified like it's the last stand at the Alamo. Last thing I need is my bank account getting raided like it’s Black Friday. 🏃‍♂️💨 And what’s Tulsi Gabbard doing? Legally purging CIA agents like it's an episode of Survivor?! Bro, we’ve turned into a soap opera! 🎭 So, buckle up, tech bros and grandmas... I’m calling it: by 2025, we’ll be signing contracts in interpretive dance just to keep our data safe! 🕺🔥💀 Leaked dev quote: “UHHHH HACKING IS JUST A GAME, RIGHT?” Share this chaos, fam! 🚀✨