🚨💣 BREAKING NEWS: Divergent Technologies just raised a whopping $290M and has officially joined the "stonks" game with a $2.3B valuation! 💰🔥 But wait, WHAT are they doing? 3D printing missile parts? 🧨💀 Sounds like a vending machine for WAR! 🤖👾 Imagine walking into your local assembly line and BOOM 💥 instead of a latte, you pick up a precision-guided missile! ☕➡️💣 Honestly, if it were any more dystopian, I’d need a time machine just to travel back to the pre-2023 safe space. Remember when the most exciting tech was just the newest iPhone? 🙄📱 Some “leaked” insider quotes from Divergent’s head honcho: -“We were just trying to make toys for adults and accidentally joined the arms race. Oops.” 🤷‍♂️ -“Innovation is just a fancy word for ‘hey, let’s put our lives on the line!’” 😏 Hot take: This is fine until it ain’t, and soon we’ll all be playing Call of Duty IRL 🕹️🔫. Next funding round? A billion-dollar partnership with Elon for Mars missiles. Because, you know, #SpaceForce! 🌌👽💸 So strap in, folks, the future is here, and it’s ready to blow! 🚀💥✨ #3DPrintYourWarMachine