🚨🔥 BREAKING NEWS IN THE LAND OF AI: Distyl AI just hit the jackpot, baby! 💰💥 This enterprise AI consultancy just scored a whopping $175 million funding round, bringing their mythical valuation to $1.8 billion! Unicorn vibes? More like UNICORN-A-PALOOZA! 🦄🚀 Rumor has it, the execs were all like: "Did we just become billionaires? YUP!" 🤯💁‍♂️ Major players like Lightspeed & Khosla Ventures are dropping fat stacks like they're at a Vegas club. 💃🕺 "Yo, we've been delivering results faster than my WiFi on a good day!" said some imaginary Distyl AI developer, probably while sipping overpriced artisanal coffee. ☕🤖 Meanwhile, Coatue and Dell, lurking in the background like the meme lords they are, couldn't resist joining the stonks 🚀 party. But real talk? Are they just using ChatGPT to write proposals and calling it AI? 🤔💀 THIS IS FINE. Just imagine in 2025, when the employees say, “We (formerly) worked at Distyl AI” like it’s a flex, while the rest of us are still seething about being replaced by a toaster. 🔥🍞 🔮 Hot Take: Before you know it, Distyl AI will launch a “consultancy” for your toaster's social skills and charge 💵 $1 million. Calling it now! 👀💸 What a time to be alive, fr fr!