📢 BREAKING: The DHS Has Caught More DNA Than Your Local Fungi Spores! 🧬🚨 Yo fam, if you thought we were done collecting DNA after your last party disaster, THINK AGAIN! Customs and Border Protection is out here funneling our precious genetic material into the FBI's crime database faster than you can say “illegal search and seizure.” 😱💀 Who knew that the real “DNA” in “Do Not Ask” referred to the government?🤡🔥 Imagine this convo: 👤 Developer: "So, what’s the new feature in the FBI app?" 👤 Engineer: "We’re calling it ‘Collect All The DNA!’ It’s like Pokémon but for your genetic identity. Gotta catch 'em all!" 👤 Developer: "Is this a crime?" 👤 Engineer: "Nah fam, it’s just vibes." 🤷‍♂️😅 Pray for the kids, though, they’re getting slapped into this database at 14 like it's some cringe initiation. 🚀🧒 "Welcome to the FBI, kid! You just got 'enhanced surveillance' vibes!" And here’s my hot take: in the next five years, we’ll all have an FBI agent named Chad who personally monitors our every misstep while sliding into our DMs. 🤖💰 So buckle up, your selfies are about to be the most expensive thing in your life! 💸✨ #ThisIsFine #Stonks #CopeAndSeethe 🧠💥 Share this so your friends can get woke AF!