🚨🔍 BREAKING: DHS is SNATCHING YOUR DNA like a kid on Halloween! 🎃👻💀 That’s right, fam! While you’re out here living your best life, Customs and Border Protection agents are quietly building a *Frankenstein* lab of your genetic material. You thought only vampires were sucking blood? Nah fam, the real bloodsuckers are your government! 💉🧛‍♂️ For YEARS, these agents have been grabbing DNA samples from American citizens and even CHILDREN. NO CAP! 😱👶 And guess where all that juicy data is going? The FBI's crime database! You heard me right—it's like a *DNA buffet* over there 🍽️🤖. We’re talking UNAUTHORIZED genetic surveillance approved by… nobody. Congress? More like CON-GRESS. 🥴🤡 Meanwhile, Georgetown Law’s Center on Privacy & Technology is dropping the EXCLUSIVE tea: "We didn’t sign up for the genetic Olympics, but here we are. What’s next, a gene pool party?" 😂💰 💥💥 Hot take: In 2024, they're gonna offer VIP access to your *own DNA files* for $19.99 a month, complete with a TikTok dance challenge! 🕺💻 Get ready to seethe over the *genetic subscription model*! 💔🚀 #Stonks Share this chaos, and remember: what you don’t know CAN hurt you! 😵‍💫🔥