🚨👀 *BREAKING NEWS FROM THE FUTURE* 🚀💰 Yo, fam! So David George, the dude with more stonks than you can shake a taco at, just dropped some truth bombs on the Going Public stage at TechCrunch Disrupt 2025. 🥳✨ You ever watch paint dry? Yeah, that’s kinda what I thought this event would be until I discovered it’s happening in the Moscone West, where all the *tech magic* happens! 🪄💻 *Leaked Developer Quote #1:* “Going public is like Tinder for startups - swiping left on all the cringey investors!” 😂🔥 Honestly though, *why is nobody talking about this?* 🤔 Are we just gonna pretend that this event isn't where dreams go to get a return on investment!? Guy's throwing down the future of going public like it’s a hot potato, and we’re just sitting here, scrolling TikTok. The vibes? 💯 But if you miss this, you might as well be living in a basement with your mom. This is not a drill, people! *Drake meme* vs. *This is fine dog* as the future of your stocks. Get in or be left with copium. 💀📉 **🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION ALERT:** I predict the next big tech IPO will involve NFT art, TikTok dancers, and a llama. So buckle up, folks! 🦙🚀💸