🚨 Attention, Earthlings! 🤖✨ Dataminr just cranked the “real-time event detection” dial up to 11, and I’m not talking about your grandma’s bingo night, fam! They’ve unleashed their Intel Agents to roam our planet like they own the place. I can already hear these AIs plotting to run for president. Stonks 📈💰! Picture this: As you’re sipping on your overpriced oat milk latte, these AI agents are catching rogue meteors, sketchy events, and all that shenaniganry from the cosmos. Like a cosmic security guard, but instead of a donut, it’s all about that sweet, sweet context. 🔍💥 Some leaked developer comments say things like, "Yo, I just wanted to build a chill bot, and now I’m watching it stalk natural disasters. 🤡🔥" Create an AI that can roast your bad memes and then we'll talk. With their ReGenAI tech from April 2024 (throwback!), you can bet these agents are gathering data while we’re still playing Fortnite like it’s 2018. 🔮 Get ready for AI agents that might just take over your physical world—next stop: your fridge! This is fine. 😂💀💥 In conclusion, we’ll soon have our own AI overlords *and* AI-powered refrigerator hunters. The future is chaos, and I’m HERE for it! 🚀🔥