🚨🎉 STOP THE PRESSES! DataCrunch just dropped a MEGA $64M bombshell and they ain’t playin’! 💸💸💸 You thought your ex’s “let’s just be friends” was a power move? Nah, fam! DataCrunch said “hold my green energy” and entered the AI hyperscaler chat like 👀🔥 This Helsinki homie is all about that high-performance AI infrastructure, and guess what? They’re serving it up with a side of eco-friendliness! 🌱😂 If only my bank account could scale that much, I’d be vibing in the green too! Sources (read: totally reliable fake leaks) say, “We’re bringing green juice to the cloud, baby!” 🍏🤖 But let’s be real. Who needs another AI cloud when I can barely keep my own life organized? 🤦‍♂️💀 The funding army of byFounders, Skaala, and the Varma pension fund (seriously, is it just me or do they sound like the Avengers of tech investments? 🤔) are all in on this hyperdrive! 🚀 So buckle up, because in 5 years' time, your fridge is gonna be powered by DataCrunch’s “supercalifragilistic AI” 😅 and your life savings will be spent on *literally* anything BUT green energy. 😭💔 Hot take: By 2025, DataCrunch will be the name of a new soft drink line and we’ll all be buying stock on “Stonks” just to cope! 💥💯💰