🚨MEGA STONKS ALERT!🚨 Databricks just pulled a *hold my Red Bull* moment by slapping a $100 BILLION price tag on itself like it’s the Supreme 🥴👑—I mean, who doesn’t love a good "we have no idea what our software actually does" flex? 💸💸 Let’s break this down like a TikTok dance: Databricks is a data analytics company that’s basically out here pretending it can read your mind and make your coffee. They just rolled out with “Series K” funding like it’s a new Pokémon game. What's next? "Gotta catch 'em all...and my funding!" 😂🔮 💬 “We just keep raising cash like it’s a game of Monopoly,” said a totally legit developer on the down-low. “Next funding round, we’re thinking about selling actual stocks and options. No cap.” 🤑📈 Meanwhile, the tech community is like: *this is fine* 🔥☕. Sure, we're all just poorly dressed wizards pretending we understand AI and big data, but here we are with a $100B valuation! 👾 So what’s next for the tech world? I predict Databricks will launch the *“Databricks Lite: For when you only need to analyze your friends' memes”*—and what’s that worth? Gonna need the bubble wrap and a backup for when it pops! 🤡🚀💥💰