🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: Databricks is outchea playing Monopoly with funds, planning to slap a $130 BILLION 💰 price tag on their shiny new funding round! Like, can we get a round of applause for turning data into dough? 👏💵 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "At this point, we’re basically the stonks meme – it's either to the moon 🚀 or to the basement 💀, but let's keep pretending it's all fine while we’re just burning cash, amirite?" From the folks who brought you ‘turning data into decisions’ comes the “I’m gonna need you to invest in our data pipeline, or, like crickets.” Fr fr, how many more rounds until they beat the guys at SpaceX in the race for the biggest valuation? This is literally like Drake pointing at a chart up ⬆️ vs. this is fine meme down 🔥. Can we just admit that VC funding is now a reality TV show? "Who wants to raise a billion?" *cue reality show music* 🎶💀 But here's my *totally unhinged prediction*: Databricks will soon announce “Databricks Lite” – a data analytics app that only offers insights on how to order takeout for your next binge-watch session. 🤯 Mark my words! 💥✨