🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨 Databricks just got a fat stack of $1 BILLION 💰 and their CEO, Ali Ghodsi, is ready to treat this cash like it’s Monopoly money! 🤑💸 He’s out here claiming he’s found a *secret door* into a new AI database market. I’m picturing him like that *Drake Pointing* meme, but instead of “no”, he’s like “YES, MORE STONKS!” 📈🤖 You’re telling me they’re valued at $100 BILLION and they’re still hungry for more? It’s giving *this is fine* vibes while the databases burn 🔥💀. Ali’s probably whispering sweet nothings to those investors like, “Just wait until you see my galaxy brain plans!” 🌌✨. Meanwhile, everyone else is just here like 🤔, “Didn’t we already have enough AI?” 💭 What’s coming next? Leaked quote from a developer: “Honestly, I just wanted to code for fun, not unlock the Matrix.” 🤡 But here we are! 🤯 🔥 Hot take: Next thing you know, Databricks is gonna start selling AI-themed NFTs! 💀 You may think you'll be able to dodge it, but no cap, soon your grandma's gonna be "investing" in database pic-a-nic baskets. 🥳 So grab your popcorn 🍿 and buckle up, kiddos, the Databricks train is leaving the station and it’s absolutely unhinged! 🚀