🌪️🚨 BREAKING: Data breaches STILL out here like it’s 1999, affecting millions of peeps! 📉💀 Over **1,200** cyber-opportunities for hackers to slide into your DMs (or bank accounts) JUST in the first half of this year! 👀💰 Developer Quote: “Honestly, at this point, I’m just waiting for the *Data Breach Olympics* to kick off. Who’s got the fastest hackers?!” 🏅✨ Here’s the tea ☕️: You have a better chance of winning the lottery than NOT getting hacked this year. Cope, seethe, and prepare for the inevitable! This is fine… 🔥😩 So how do you protect yourself? Simple, fam: 🔒👉 Use two-factor authentication, change your passwords like you change your socks (hopefully more often than twice a year), and pray to the tech gods that your data doesn’t end up on the dark web alongside your ex’s cringe TikToks. 🤡✨ Remember, “data privacy” is just a *trend* at this point—like the fidget spinner of 2020. Go ahead, be a galaxy brain genius and try *not* to put your social security number as your “pet name.” 🤦‍♂️🐶 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: By the end of 2024, we’ll all just be walking around with our data as NFTs—now THAT’S capitalism at its finest! 🚀💸