👽💰 BREAKING: Darktrace is about to unleash a $200 million money cannon on the US in 2026—yes, you heard that right! That’s a solid 11% YoY increase—gotta love those finance gymnastics! 🤸‍♂️💸 This UK cybersecurity squad is on a mission to *not* just scratch a billion in revenue, but smash it like a piñata at a 5-year-old’s birthday party. 🎉🚀 And guess what? They want US sales to be half of that. Are they trying to become the Avengers of cybersecurity, saving the world one dollar at a time?🦸‍♂️💻 But let's get real. After being swooped up by Thoma Bravo (who also sounds like a rejected Disney character) 🤡, they’re probably just trying to prove that UK tech can ball just as hard as Silicon Valley. Like, chill fam. You're not on the “stonks” meme level yet. 📈 👨‍💻 Leaked Dev Quote: “Why invest in the US? Because we want to leave the crumpets behind and dive into the deep fried tech chaos!” 🍟💀 Here’s my totally unhinged prediction: Darktrace is gonna go *full cyberpunk* and hire a digital army of AI bots that will *definitely* not go rogue and terrorize humanity...right? 🤖💥 Stay tuned, it’s gonna be lit! 🔥💯