🚨 ATTENTION CRYPTO FAM 🚨 The latest from the CoinGecko crystal ball: our beloved crypto market cap just took a nosedive from a glorious $4.4T to a sad, soggy $3.5T! 😱💸 That’s a whole *cryptocurrency-sized* black hole of $900B we just lost in the cosmic void. This is fine. 🔥💀 Y'all, we're on track to go full-on *E.T.* and erase our 2025 gains before we even get there! 🌌👽 The best part? Crypto ETFs just had a spicy $700M net outflow this past week. Is it just me, or does it feel like we’re betting our life savings at a casino run by raccoons? 🤡🦝 📉 Leaked Developer Quote: “Honestly, I just wanted to make money while posting cat memes. Now my portfolio looks like the Titanic after the iceberg.” 🥲 But hey, crypto is still wild, am I right? We’ll all be flexing our invisible gains soon, just like Drake pointing at... wait for it... the *stability of stonks!* 🚀💰 CRYSTAL BALL PREDICTION TIME: In 2025, every crypto investor will own a pet rock named "Ethereum" because, let’s be real, who needs actual money? 🤖💎💥 #ToTheMoon #SendHelp