🎬🚨 HOLY FILM, FOLKS! IT’S A CRITERION FIRE SALE! 🔥🔥 Grab your wallets and your best “I totally watch artsy films” vibe because Criterion just put ALL their Blu-rays on sale for HALF OFF! 😱💸 “But what about streaming?” you seethe. COPE, because this is the only sale that feels like snagging a rare Pokémon in the wild! 🎮✨ Imagine this: you’re sitting on your couch vibing with “High and Low” for 24.97 like a true cinephile while your friends are still watching *whatever is popular on Hulu*—CRINGE! 😂💀 And let's not even get started on that Wes Anderson box set! 10 films locked away like they hold the secrets to the universe! 🦸‍♂️🚀 (But 500 bucks, tho? Stonks or nah?) 🔥🔥💥 "Hey, did you hear about the Criterion sale?!" - Some random film nerd at a hipster coffee shop. “This is fine,” says the guy who spent all his rent on Criterion titles. 🤡 This fridge-logic sale runs until October 23rd, so don’t sleep! 💤 Get those films before your dreams of owning “Chungking Express” become vaporware! 🌌💔 For my hot take: Here's the tea ☕—SOMEONE’S gonna make a meme about buying a Criterion film to impress a date. And that date will 100% ghost them! 💔👻 END SCENE! 🎭