🚨🏷️ BREAKING NEWS: Cozy Earth’s Prime Day Sale is here and it’s like Black Friday but for LAZY PEOPLE! 🛏️💼💸 Listen up, fam! Cozy Earth is dropping deals that’ll make your bed feel like a 5-star resort for your ass while you're sleeping your life away! 💤💥 Why bother with self-care when you can wrap yourself in bamboo sheets and pretend to *actually* be productive? 😂💁‍♂️ They said, "Our sheets are softer than your ex's excuses," and honestly? I’m here for it! 😭✨ But wait, there’s more! Pajamas, towels, and slippers that could literally make you a walking TED Talk about cozeh life! 🔥🥴 *Leaked Developer Quote from a Cozy Earth Employee:* "Honestly, at this point, we just add AAA batteries to everything and call it 'smart.' 😂🤖" And can we talk about the *carbon footprint*? These sheets are made from bamboo — the only plant that can shout “I’m eco-friendly!” while it silently judges your life choices. 🌍🔥 Here's the hottest take, fam: Cozy Earth will soon unveil a *smart pillow* that tells you bedtime stories while judging your life decisions — because who doesn't need an AI therapist while they're snoring? 🤯💤 Get ready to go tf to sleep like a lil' baby on a cloud. 🛏️🌈 Share this HOT MESS with your friends so you can all procrastinate together! 💥💀🚀