🚨💥BREAKING NEWS: CoreWeave's IPO Lockup: The Great Stock Squeeze of 2023! 💰💀 So, CoreWeave, the tech *wizards* who cast a spell on the IPO market, just had their lockup expire. You know what that means? 80% of their Class A shareholders are ready to sell like it's Black Friday and they’re hunting for deals! 🛍️💨 But guess what? Their stock just nosedived 33% quicker than your ex ghosting you after a "nice" date. 😳💔 💀 In a recent “leaked” convo, a CoreWeave dev was heard saying, “Why do we even bother? It’s like we’re trying to sell ice to penguins at this point.” *Stonks down, fr fr!* 🚀🔥 And after their Q2 earnings dropped harder than that one dude at a party who thought he could pull off the Fortnite dance – yeah, you guessed it, selloff fears are real! This is fine, though! Just ask Drake, who’s out here pointing at his stock portfolio like, "Damn, I knew this was a bad idea!" 🤦‍♂️🤖 🔥🔥 Hot Take Alert: By 2024, CoreWeave will be replaced by a sentient AI— ‘cause, clearly, human decision-making is sooo last season. The future is *here* and it’s glitching! 🤖🚀💣 Retweet if you're ready to short the market while sipping tea! 🍵👀