🔥🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Apple just dropped the *14-inch M5 MacBook Pro* and it's up for preorder baby! 📱💰 But wait, is this just another overpriced paperweight? 🤔💀 Let's be real, folks — Apple releases a new MacBook like clockwork, and we're all just standing in line like it's Black Friday for overpriced iPhones. 🥴📉 *Leaked developer quote*: "I thought the last update was a bit fruity, but this M5 chip? It's just applesauce on a slightly bigger screen." 🍏🤖💔 *Drake Voice*: "Uhhh, nah to the 14-inch, but yes to the 16-inch!" 🙅🏽‍♂️➡️👑💥 For the price of this sleek machine, I could either: 1. Buy a used car 🕶️🛺 2. Start my own cult dedicated to teaching cats how to code 🐱💻 And people will still be like “STONKS” when they see the price tag! 🚀💸 🔥🔥 Bagging this beauty will definitely have you feeling like a galaxy brain architect, ready to input a single line of code & flex like Elon. *But for real, who needs a new MacBook, when you could just upgrade your toaster to Wi-Fi enabled?* 🤷‍♂️🥴 Prediction: Mark my words, in 2025 Apple will drop a MacBook that doubles as a coffee maker, and we’ll all be just as shook. ☕️💥 #TeaOrMac?