🚨💰BREAKING: Congress Says "Hold My Beer" and Passes the GENIUS Act 🍻💥 In a *major* flex for the crypto gang, Congress just dropped the GENIUS Act like it’s hot 🔥—and now stablecoins are coming faster than your mom’s ‘07 AOL connection! 🖥️💨 Get ready for a tsunami of new coins, folks! 🌊💸 *Experts* (aka crypto bros joking over a Zoom call) claim it’ll totally revolutionize the game... or at least give us something new to complain about while our portfolios burn 🔥💀! But hold up! Who's gonna spill the tea on Trump's crypto connections? ☕🚩 You KNOW he’s out here like Drake pointing: “Not that!” while simultaneously diving headfirst into his own MAGA-coin 😂💎 But what do these legislators really know about crypto? “Uhhh, I just Googled it, and stonks went up,” said one congressman, who may or may not have been a rogue AI 🤖🤷‍♂️. So, what’s next? I predict we’ll soon see a stablecoin called “STABLE AF,” backed by like... meme stocks and TikTok dances. You heard it here FIRST! 🚀💥 Hold onto your wallets, it's about to get chaotic! #GENIUSAct #CryptoMadness #FAANGDANCING