🚨💰BREAKING NEWS: Commonwealth Fusion Systems is about to unleash the power of the sun, and they just signed a deal with Eni worth over $1 BILLION!!! 🤯☀️ That's right, fam—fusion energy is about to go from "lol, maybe one day" to "your monthly electric bill is about to look like a toddler’s bedtime reading list." 📚✨ First off, let’s address the real OG here: “Fusion energy” 🏆💥. It’s like the cool cousin who shows up to Thanksgiving with a jetpack—everyone's excited but secretly wondering how long before they crash into the turkey. 🦃💨 And here’s a leaked conversation from the office of CFS: **Random Coder:** “So, are we actually gonna power the future?” **Dev 1:** “Nah, we're just gonna sell tickets to watch a giant plasma ball explode.” **Dev 2:** “Based.” 💀 Listen, fuse-brain elites, Eni better not spin this into a segue for *sky-high energy prices* 💸💔. I mean, we can barely cope with the current inflation—if fusion power is just a scheme to sell us fusion-flavored energy drinks, I'm out. 🙅‍♂️ 🔥🚀Hot take of the century: In 5 years, your fridge will run on fusion energy while your toaster spits out crypto-nuggets. Prepare for the most DEGEN kitchen in history. This is fine… maybe. 🤡💀